One thing I’ve been absolutely terrible at has been self-care. I will legit work myself to the bone and collapse without a second thought. At some point I think I wore that with a badge of honor, proving that I would always outwork the competition. The competition? Who the heck has been the competition, Amber????? I never bothered asking these questions until one day…well…I just collapsed. I was done. Not just physically mind you, but also mentally and emotionally. I had nothing left because I left nothing. While this can be a good way to accomplish things, this is also a very short-term solution for a long-term life to be lived, you savvy?
And that is what finally gave me pause.
Who am I competing with? Who is this all for? What does it matter what anyone else is doing? Who actually cares? Apparently, I did.
But I don’t anymore.
At least…I’m doing my absolute best to not. To be able to just look at my progress and be happy with the work I’ve put in and the place I’m at here and now. I’ll always have a larger goal of course, but I can also take a day off and just read, I can lay on the hot cement and let my muscles relax, or I can spend a few hours playing my favorite video game (Dead by Daylight if you’re asking), and just exist.
Self-care has been very difficult for me. It’s really been a journey to realize that I am enough. I know that sounds kind of crazy but I realized that my self-worth was tied to my productivity, to what I could give to others but never thought about my own well-being.
That’s changing, slowly, like learning to ride a bike I guess, and honestly, I’m enjoying the ride