When bad things happen, when people fail us we tend to want to know why. We want to know what we’ve done to make them not want us/fail us. Why aren’t we good enough? Where we too much? Not understanding enough? Where we just not good enough? So we turn it around over and over again in our minds. Thinking about what if’s, what could be, why not’s, and all sorts of things.
We seek closure, we demand it.
But what happens when we don’t get it? What happens when the other person refuses to give us the closure we need? What happens when they can’t give us the closure we ask for?
Then we have to be ok with not being ok.
We have to try to find closure in our lack of closure and peace in the unknown and honestly? That can be a super tall order.
But it’s possible.
We have to do the work to develop good coping mechanisms, and being ok with not being ok is probably one of the big ones.